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playground stuff

January 11, 2009

An interesting (and not too uncommon) scenario:

I walk into work wearing one of my thrown-together-concoctions. Elijah takes one look at me, smirks, and says “nice outfit”. To which I reply “I could say the same to you”.

And then, I started thinking, if we had taken this conversation any further, he would have said “well, no, my outfit is normal, and yours isn’t”, and he would have probably called somebody else for agreement on this. At which point it would have been two people saying “yeah, your outfit is weird”. But what makes two people thinking the same thing more ‘right’? The taunts would have been mocking, my power to convince them that my outfit is normal for me, and that theirs are not normal for me would have been diminished because all of a sudden there is “proof” in the larger number of people agreeing. One more person in the schoolyard, pointing fingers and laughing.

And why do we do this?

Is the thought of expanding our perception so scary that we will call upon any source of affirmation to feel better about ourselves? I think I would always rather be on the vulnerable side of this equation. Not because I want to play the fashion martyr, but because I do not want to be the closed-minded insecure taunter who needs another insecure taunter by her side in order to feel important.

This didn’t happen, by the way, it’s just another real-life situations that became much more elaborate in my imagination…

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