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January 14, 2009

Foot is a word that I like. It has four letters so it is nice and balanced. And because of this four-balance, it connects to the ground, so it is a part of the earth just like our real foots and bodies (as opposed to the words ‘foot’ and ‘body’ which do not bleed or sweat). But the foot is the surface that touches the ground most of the time (unless you can walk on your hands) so it is much more connected to the earth. I think that some people even have roots growing out of their feet– I know I do sometimes because I can feel them stretching deep down into the earth. If anything, it’s like this big wide open plateau that is just there to accept energy, to draw it in to those arches that point upwards into our bodies throwing that earth energy right up into our bellies.


My feet are like gnome feet– big and wide and evenly proportioned. I think this happened because I get so spacey, so my feet were made as grounded looking as possible, to hold me down in case I want to float away. If I had little thin feet I’d be sure to drift off sometime like a big balloon, and I’d probably eventually fall into the ocean like a balloon too, and either end up poisoning a sea bird who thought I was a tasty treat, which wouldn’t be fun, or I’d be stranded because that’s a long way to swim to get home.

photo3When I drive to yoga class really early in the morning and because the lining of my boots meets where my toes are they are at a serious disadvantage with regards to lining distribution– just like when you’re skiing and everything else is wrapped up warm except for your toes with that damn lining situation again– my toes are very cold.  It always reminds me of being young, when I would walk to the bus stop in Glasgow before it was light, and my toes felt like they were going to fall off one by one (but it was so cold that I wouldn’t have noticed until I warmed up again), and of seeing those packets of footwarmers that you get when you go skiing and wondering if they really work, and of the fact that it’s so normal when you live in the cold to have to walk around in the rain and snow that it was funny when I moved to California and people would stay home when it was raining. And of snow days. When I would wake up and it was snowing and I would pray that the snow would get thick enough before the bus could get me to school, and I’d get on the bus and everybody was thinking the same thing (because this was a bus full of school kids) and we’d get to Shawlands or something, and then the beat up old bus couldn’t go any further and we had to turn around and go back. So all the people who had to drive to school were home for the day, and usually out sledging somewhere fun. But then I didn’t notice that my feet were freezing until I was walking home.

It’s no wonder that having cold feet also means to change your mind, because when my feet are cold all I want to do is go home and stick them on top of the heater or something. I wonder if that’s where the term came from. Somebody was going to get married, and their feet got too cold so they had to go home and put them up on a heater before they fell off, and then when everybody asked what happened to them, everyone said “oh, Brigit? She got cold feet.”. Maybe everyone was talking about how her feet were cold for so long that it just became a normal part of the English language.

There’s always something that goes unnoticed and for most people I think it is their feet. I met a yogi guy who made himself out to be the reincarnation of the buddha or something, but then when I looked at his feet they were all craggly and disgusting, with overgrown brown jagged toenails that were really thick in some places and thin in others, and the skin on his feet was black and callussed and peeling in places but in no places was it clean or smooth even-toned and I thought “how can this guy be a buddhaincarnate if he hasn’t even noticed his own feet?”.

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